I feel like there is so much that I want to do, but there is too much holding me back. I've had a series of straight bad luck for the past 2 months, all year really. My heart is broken, I lost my job, I broke my arm, my car got repossessed yesterday, I've become a pretty serious alcoholic and I've gained about 15 pounds. I am trying to keep my head up, but its just become so much that I just want to sleep and not get up. I have such high expectations for myself and when I don't meet them, or feel like such a failure [as I do now] I fall down really hard. I don't know what I can do. I have no motivation.

I want to go to school. I want to go seriously. So that I can actually get an associates degree within 2 years. 2 classes a semester is just a waste of time. I want to go to the Art Institute. I hate going SLCC.
I want to lose weight. I want to get back down to 120. I hate looking at myself in the mirror, as stupid as that sounds. I hate not fitting into my old jeans. I hate trying on swim suites. I feel like my weight has a LOT to do with how disappointed in myself I am.
I want to move. I want to go somewhere where I don't know anyone. I want to get lost every day. I want to fall in love with someone who doesn't know or care about anyone I have dated. Where no has anything to judge me by, except for me, and who I am; not who I know.
I want a job that I can love. That I actually enjoy. I talk to so many people that just love what they do, and I can't say that about any job I've ever had.

May 28th

For my little sister Brittany's 19th birthday we went to lunch at Charlie Chows [her favorite place] and then we went shopping!


Then today, I had my dad and sister's at my house and we made vegan gyros. They turned out so delicious! My dad is an amazing cook!

We had Greek rice, Greek olives and salad as well. Everything went great and I'm really happy that my dad finally was able to come see my apartment!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRITTANY!

yep

6-8 weeks in a cast.

Love is

I want a boy that will ride bicycles with me. A boy that will let me play my guitar for him in the crack of the morning over a pot of coffee on the front porch. Someone who will hold my hand while we watch movies in bed. Someone that will BBQ my Boca burger. Someone that gets excited to introduce me to his life. A boy that will have dreams about saving my life. Someone that will hold my hand while I jump over a puddle. A boy that will tell me I'm pretty when I need to hear it. A boy that will let me hangout in his big T shirts and eat popcorn with me all day. A boy that will take me to the top of the city because he knows how much I love the lights. Someone that will drink wine into the sunset with me. Someone that makes a playlist of my favorite songs for me when he knows I'm feeling sad. Someone that will chase me bare foot in the grass only to catch me and throw me over his shoulder. A boy that will take me all over the world because he wants to stand in every spot on the globe by my side. A boy that picks flowers for me on walks. A boy that will hold the umbrella because I'm not tall enough to hold it for us both.

I just want a boy that will love me for as much as I know I can love him.

To dream that you are cutting your hair, suggests that you are experiencing a loss in strength. You may feel that someone is trying to censor you. Alternatively, you may be reshaping your thinking or ambitions and eliminating unwanted thoughts/habits.

Best Friends

Victoria, you have been such an amazing friend to me. I haven't had more fun with anyone in my whole life and I truly cherish you. You are such an amazing person and friend. You have helped me out these past couple of months so much and you're much of the reason why I am alive today. Thank you so much for all of the support, friendship and valued advice you've given to me. I love you.

I just want to make a clean escape

I’m leaving but I don’t know where to
I know I’m leaving but I don’t know where to